Brostoevski does the Fool.

"Every action is a preparation for another action."
- Livia Vanaver


Tuesdays are easily becoming my favorite day of the week.  Today only helps to solidify that fact.  Tuesday is generally a strictly physical day.  Gym in the morning; Stage Combat at 10:00a; Dance at 2:00p.  I sweat all day long.  Tuesday has become a day of physical cleansing; any flotsam that might be floating around the body is purged from the hold and the feeling is something spectacular.


We performed our first fight in class today.  Something definitely caught my attention today: even though every pair of people has the exact same list of moves to perform in the exact same order, the story of these scuffles is vastly different from group to group.  It goes to show you that it's the moments that happen in between major calamities are the ones can be really telling of who a person is, or what something is all about.

I shared this with Phillip earlier during the break.  It comes from John Carpenter's "They Live".  We were supposed to watch a fight scene from a film and report back on it.  I happen to be a firm believer that this is one of the most satisfying fights in all of cinema.  If you have six minutes and you haven't seen it before (or even if you haven't seen it recently) check it out.  It's staggeringly wondrous.


Dance is always a three-hour block of great release.  The quote at the top of the page is from Livia, our instructor, who is so full of life and compassion and excitement.  We cheer each other on in her class.  Here, you can truly also get a look into the minds and souls of the people you watch because it really is unadulterated liberation.  Kevin and I are seriously talking about taking up ballet because of it.  And it's something that I've never really actually considered... but back to the quote above, it's so applicable to everything in life.  I am here; I'm going there, but I can't go there until I'm done here; after I go there, I can continue on further.  You may be thinking to yourself, "Yeah, dude.  That's causality.  Your ex-sciencey ass should know about it."


But how often do we really stop to consider where we are?  Once... maybe eight times a day?  Truly stop to consider where you are right now.  Take it in.  Is it hot?  What's around you?  How did you get here to this computer screen?  How do you feel about it?  How do you feel?  Where are you going after this?  I know in my advancing years that I have come to take many of these things for granted, the moments that happen in between the major occurrences of the day, but Tuesdays are becoming a day where I can truly appreciate a good majority of these moments, even the frustrating ones... and especially the ones where Phillip and I grind the hell out of the gym.  It's Bro-bonding at it's finest.  Respect.


It may have occurred to you, if you've been keeping up to date on posts, that a recurring theme has been one of introspection and analysis of the self: specifically myself.  There has been several moments where I have questioned a lot of my choices in my inter-relationships with some of my new class-mates and whether or not they really get me and if it's worth keeping up some of the tom-foolery that I get up to.  It's an escutcheon for stress and a great way for me to deflect from frustration.  This I know, yet I realize here, now, that no matter if it's been "working" or not; no matter if there's been anyone that I may have turned off; no matter what has happened in these four (immensely long) short weeks, there is always something to improve.  Often times there are many things to improve, but every action is a preparation for another action.  All of what's happened prior to now does not matter.  Not in this moment, because I'm here... and I'm thrilled and contented... and I know where I'm going.




"The cleverest of all, in my opinion, is the man who calls himself a fool at least once a month." 
- Fyodor Dostoevski


Doo Zee Fool!


-R

Swingset.

Yesterday we had our first day of classes.  You already may be thinking to yourself, "Wait a second, man.  This blog is already a week old.  You started classes yesterday?"

Yes.

FIGHT!!!

What better way to start off a three-year journey than sitting down with all of your new friends and talking about all of the ways that you are going to pretend to kill each other?  We kicked everything off with a group trek through the now rainy (Hello, Fall) streets of New York City to the studios uptown where we met up with our fight instructor, Joe Travers.  Here's something I should inform you of: normally I really fear stage combat people.  I often get the feeling that they were picked on a lot in their formative years and have turned to "almost violence" as a means to take out their pent-up aggression.  And usually they are more than slightly condescending assholes.  I once sat through a masterclass on combat where the instructor went on for over an hour about the importance of safety.  Not that bad you think?  Over half of it was him demonstrating (famously, if you've seen my re-enactment of the scene) of "Hospital/No Hospital", which was him standing like a soldier at attention with his hand in the air sicking his thumb out and in repeating, "Hospital/No Hospital."

Joe doesn't suffer from this affliction.  It's kind of amazing when you have an instructor who takes his job seriously, but still has a sense of humor.  I dig that.  And I'm really excited to pretend murder-kill Sheyenne Javonne Brown.  She was pissed that she didn't get a personalized shout-out in my first post... so there you go.

DANCE!!!

We closed out the first day of classes with Dance, instructed by Livia Vanaver of Vanaver Caravan.  I am not a dancer.  I always wished it was a skill that I possessed, but it's something that's never been really accessible to me.  There's another story about Taking It To The House that I'm going to have to share another time.  We talked a bit as a class about our experience with the dance and most of the men in the class were in the same position as myself where we collectively just don't feel very graceful.  Society doesn't really allow for it, which is a shame.  I guess I should say this: Parents, if your son wants to dance... let him, it's not that "gay" and it'll probably score him a slew of hot girlfriends if, in fact, that's what he's in to, so really... nobody loses.  Think about it.  The thing that was really brilliant about this particular three-hour period, and this is a credit to the bros as much as Livia and her brilliance in being supportive and creating a safe environment, is that about midway through everyone was just doing it, and what's more, looking good doing it.  The gracefulness that I certainly feel like I've never harnessed was there, it just needed a little love.  And it feels like being a kid, like when you're at the playground and you on the swings and jumping off at the height of the arc.  That moment right after you let go.  It's a little addicting.  And I can't wait for more.

ALL GOOD THINGS...

We finished Collaboration weekend last night as well.  It was brilliant to be done, truth be told; the week was long as hell.  The bonds that you can make with complete strangers when tasked with telling an engaging story in a short period of time is something else.  it's a little like going to war... or what I imagine what that would be like.  You just throw yourself in and trust that the guy next to you, even though you just met him, is going to have your back.  For those of you that were there that may be reading this, I am truly grateful for the experience and so looking forward to the next time we get to make it happen.  But in a little over an hour, the week of toil had come to a close; our right of passage was over and we stood amongst our peers and instructors, welcomed with open arms.

I imagine that if the excitement from these postings is not abundantly clear to you the reader, I should state it plainly, I am truly honored and blessed to be where I am right now, with these brilliant, wonderful and beautiful people.  I was thrust out on stage to vamp a bit while a lighting kink was worked out right at tthe top of the show, and I was able to tell them as much... which I'm thankful for.  For you, reader, I write this: if you ever find yourself in a position where you want to go to grad school for the arts, you should definitely come join us...

Magic happens here.